While welcoming tiny bundles of joy into this world is incredibly rewarding, raising them is far from an easy task. Loving moms and dads bend over backward to mold bright, kind, and decent human beings. But every now and then, they inevitably start to feel overwhelmed and even confused if they are doing right by their kids.
So to keep their marbles intact, they have to create a clear set of household rules. Luckily for us, an Australian TikTok star and a mother of two, Kat Zoe Clark, knows how to do it right. She has been raising and mentoring her 18-year-old and 11-year-old daughters and apparently has been doing a pretty good job. So a month ago, Kat created a TikTok video that amassed over 2.9 million views on the platform and quickly resonated with many fellow parents.
In her clip, Kat stressed how important it is to bring some order into the house so children can know what’s allowed and what’s simply off-limits. From having their location on to being completely honest with other family members, she shared her own list of reasonable guidelines she expects her daughters to follow. Continue scrolling to read about her experience, and let us know what you think about it in the comments!
An Australian TikTok star went viral for sharing a set of rules she expects her kids to abide by in her house
Image credits: katclark86
You can watch the full video, which got over 2.9 million views, right over here
@katclark86 Rules for my kids #mumanddaughter #mumlife #rules #relationships ♬ original sound – Kat Clark
To learn more about setting household rules and maintaining a healthy balance when raising children, we reached out to Dr. Sarah Mundy, Consultant Clinical Psychologist and author of Parenting Through Stories. According to her, one of the main jobs parents have is to guide their kids. They must keep them safe and healthy and support them to engage in life. To do this, they also have to teach them to lead their own fulfilling lives, and setting boundaries is one way of achieving that.
“It’s important that boundaries and rules are delivered with warmth and empathy,” Dr. Mundy told Bored Panda. “We are helping our children understand what they have been developed — not as a punishment but as a way of helping our children learn. After all, discipline means to teach, not punish.”
Once the little ones become older, moms and dads can start to involve them in creating rules themselves. Dr. Mundy explained that more authoritative parents often allow autonomy and encourage independence whilst also setting clear limits on their kids’ behavior. “Children with authoritative parents tend to be more confident, have better emotional regulation and find life easier than those who have parents who are overly authoritarian (‘It’s my way or the high way’) or permissive (‘Just do whatever you want’).”
Yet, we’re well aware that some kids and teenagers have a rebellious side and often push the limits by misbehaving. However, they are much more likely to respect household rules if they understand their purpose and know they were set with good intentions, the psychologist argued. “Have a positive relationship with them,” she said. “The more playfulness you have in your relationship with your child, the more you listen to and support them, the more likely they are to follow your boundaries (with a bit of push and pull, of course!).”
But sticking to the rules is not always easy, not even for the parents themselves. “As a parent, I sometimes set unobtainable boundaries (normally when I’m stressed and my children aren’t listening to me) only to have to renege on them,” Dr. Mundy recounted. She said it’s best to avoid going “in gung-ho” when something isn’t going your way and you’re not as emotionally stable as you want to be. “Such emotional states aren’t conducive to thinking straight!”
“Set boundaries that are realistic and achievable and don’t overdo it. You all need to learn and remember what they are and have time to put them into place. Try to help children learn that what is being asked is fun — and teach them how to do them or do them together in the first instance,” Dr. Mundy suggested. But if you feel like lacking the energy to create rules in the first place, don’t beat yourself up. “Reflect upon whether you are asking too much of yourself or your child and whether you need to look after yourself a bit more.”
Many TikTokers found her rules to be reasonable, here’s what they had to say
However, some believed that making her daughter pay rent was a bit over the top
Of course, navigating the parenting minefield can sometimes feel overwhelming. Luckily for us, Dr. Mundy was ready to offer some advice on setting healthy rules and finding balance within the family. First, she noted to think about what is important to you as a parent. “What do you hope to teach your child and how will you do this in a way? Don’t go overboard with too many rules — start early with small expectations of tasks that you can do together.” Then, make sure to consider what is meaningful to your child. “What are they able to manage? We often expect more of children than they are actually able to do,” the psychologist explained.
If you’re ready to start implementing new ground rules, come up with some simple ones to share with your child. “If they are older you can develop these together. Make sure you are also happy to follow the rules (when appropriate) and explain why these are important,” Dr. Mundy said, adding that you should try to stick to the boundaries so they would become habitual in your household.
“If you come up with struggles in setting these boundaries, don’t panic. Think about why this might be, whether you are being too rigid or too permissive, whether you need more time connecting with your child, etc. Always try to take responsibility for what you did wrong and repair your relationship with your child,” Dr. Mundy concluded.
Apparently, it’s not the first time Kat has been called out for charging her daughter rent. She explained her reasoning behind this controversial rule in another viral video
@katclark86 Reply to @mooooshhhhhhhhhh me. I’m the type of mum that does that. #parentsoftiktok #teenmum #adayinmylife ♬ original sound – Kat Clark
The post Woman Who Has Been Raising Two Daughters Goes Viral After Sharing A Set Of 7 Rules They Have To Follow first appeared on Bored Panda.